how is dating a trans guy different from dating a cis guy?

Honestly, dating Matt isn’t a whole lot different from any other dating experience I’ve had. The most unique aspect of our story is that we fell in love in a whirlwind are incredibly (ridiculously) compatible. However, a few trans-related differences:

  1. I can’t tell, just from looking at or touching his crotch, if he’s got a boner.

  2. There are some things that are infinitely funnier. When my period is late and a friend says, “Jeez Steph, what if you’re pregnant!” or when someone says, “Damn, I bet he has a huge cock.”

  3. He understands my body, and how it feels pleasure, very very well.

  4. Acquiring hormones requires therapy. Therapy leads to greater self awareness and emotional stability. Matt is more ‘whole’ than anyone else I’ve ever been with. He’s emotionally equipped to handle stress, confrontation and crisis better than anyone I’ve ever dated.

  5. Since soy sauce and testosterone don’t jive, I’ve had to adapt my Thai Peanut Chicken Stir Fry recipe to be soy-free.


  1. Eli

    Tell me about your “soy sauce and testosterone” issue: I get the soy-estrogen thing, but I’m curious about your reference in particular. That is, has a doctor told Cam to avoid soy products?


    • thetransparentcouple

      Soy beans are not necessarily the culprit, it’s more so a case of processed food being bad. Processed soy, like in soy sauce and soy milk products, contain high levels of phytoestrogens (estrogen like plant derivatives). It’s not estrogen, but it’s treated similarly to estrogen in the body, meaning that your body will bond to it like a hormone. The studies that are out there (which aren’t plentiful as it stands) are only targeting the effect of soy on cisgender folks; the studies show that processed soy doesn’t make a noticeable difference in testicle size or sperm count, but that doesn’t really mean much to trans guys. Until I have evidence that processed soy will have no long term or short term impacts on my body’s ability to absorb the testosterone I’m injecting (instead of the phytoestrogens) AND that there are additional health benefits to soy in general over what I have in my diet as is, I’m going to stay clear.

      Same argument (with different effects and evidence) for artificial and/or processed sweeteners. You will find no high fructose corn syrup or aspartame in my diet, no sir.

      In short, has a doctor told me to avoid it? No. But my body and brain have.

      Let me know if you want legitimate studies, this article links to a few good ones:



  2. Eli

    Thanks for the info–I’m totally with you on processed foods, and avoid most soy products. I was just wondering because my doctor told me a little bit of soy is ok because it’s “a key that fits the same receptor lock” as the estrogen our bodies produce, but it is a weaker variety of it. Which sounds good to me. So I do eat a little soy.

    And like you said, it’s a valuable tool to be able to listen to your body, and if it doesn’t want something, that’s good enough reason to stay away from it.


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